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Apology

Faisal Mohyuddin


The following poem was first published in The Aleph Review, Vol. 5 (2021).



Photo by Jaffer Hasan
Photo by Jaffer Hasan

Let’s say, on this bright and sisterless

earth spinning listlessly in her imperfect

orbit, perpetually oppressed by the long

shadow of Paradise, there are trees

of such colossal heights that they have

squandered through arrogance the ancient

currency of their tribes. They believe

they possess in their voracious reach

the capacity to pluck from night’s richness

the most sacred stars, fashion them

haughtily into constellations, then bury

these prayers within the tangled circuitry

of their roots, so that when we humans

have finally annihilated ourselves for good,

unfurling fingers of light will sprout

in search of the bitter radiance of their

ancestors, thread up through the lush

underbrush before piercing into the air

sweetened by all that has survived.

These revelations will signal to those

towering trees that their time of rest

has arrived at last. Yet, forever godless

in their aspirations, what can they know

of their actual stature, the vast expanse

standing between them and that first page

of the sky? So too might we endure,

dumbly, without eyes, for longer than

we deserve, and eventually flee from life,

not in death, but in unconquerable

hunger, seeded in a history of falling

short, of hours flummoxed by ambition.

No, we need not lament this longing

always for a less desperate existence.

Without it, what is there in this world

to unshackle the soul, uplift the lingering

shame of want? Doubt can coward

the greatest of hearts. Even the Himalayas

feel unworthy and pine for heaven.

Even those twin trees of Eden envy

the eternal holiness of the other’s fruit.



 


Faisal Mohyuddin is the author of The Displaced Children of Displaced Children (Eyewear Publishing, 2018), which was chosen as a 2018 recommendation of the Poetry Book Society and named a “highly commendable” collection of the year by the Forward Arts Foundation. Also the author of the chapbook The Riddle of Longing (Backbone Press, 2017), he serves as an educator and adviser to the global not-for-profit Narrative 4 and teaches English at Highland Park High School in suburban Chicago. Learn more about Faisal at www.faisalmohyuddin.com.



Jaffer Hasan, an American-Pakistani photographer, is known for his work in the fashion world. His photographs have been featured in every major publication in Pakistan, as well as many in the Middle East and Europe. Jaffer’s education has seen him travel the world from Paris to Las Vegas, Seattle and Montreal, moving back to Pakistan only a few years ago to pursue photography.













Please note that author and artist bios from archival pieces are reprinted as they first appeared and may not not be up-to-date.

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